Zen Gardner: 2 Years Later, I Am Still Wondering…

“Truth does not waver ever, only our perception does. And it is our moral obligation to align our perceptions with truth so that our gained wisdom can manifest itself as moral right action.

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“If a person who is considered to be a good, moral, loving, spiritual, creative, and inspirational brother overnight turns into an immoral, bad, hateful, evil and deceptive monster; can both of these opposite perceptions of reality be based in truth? No, it can’t because truth is unwavering, definite and objective. Our perceptions are not unwavering, and need to be aligned with truth as much as possible. That is our moral obligation towards the Universe.

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“What I do know is the objective, definite difference between right & wrong behavior. Not because of my feelings, intuition, sense of resonance, or any other fluffy inter-dimensional expression of consciousness, but because of knowledge of the principles of the laws of morality.”

~ Willem Felderhof

Zen Gardner 2 Years Later, I Am Still Wondering…

by Willem Felderhof
August 5, 2018

For anyone who cares about the truth regarding the sidelining and subsequent inquisition of Zen Gardner two years ago, please take the time to read the (complete) following open letter I sent to Bernhard Guenther regarding the whole issue. I feel it is important to understand what happened back then because it reveals the nature of many unsolved and unacknowledged psychological issues in so called truth communities which also plague society in general. WF

Dear Bernhard,

I hope you are doing well. Maybe you do not remember who I am as it is already two years ago that we had some email exchange following the publication of some articles on your website regarding the coming out of Zen Gardner. But maybe you do remember.

Anyway, in one of your articles, you speak brilliantly about false resonance and refer to sincere self work:

“False resonating is mistaken for wishful thinking or based on (unconscious) projections or triggers. Sometimes, the false part within us based on conditioning, programming, and wounding resonates with something which we mistake for our true self, resulting in false resonance, or we reject the truth of something because it challenges deep ingrained belief systems we are identified with and hence “don’t resonate with it” because it brings up uncomfortable feelings… which also ties into cognitive dissonance….. In other words, honest sincere self-work is needed in order to detect the lies we tell ourselves and all the rationalizations and denial that come with it so we can get more and more in tune with our soul resonance/knowing.”

When I saw some pictures passing by of you, Max and Benny recently I couldn’t help wondering how much time you guys spent on self-reflection on how you dealt with the “Zen Gardner issue” that you launched on the internet and into the cosmos 2 years ago.

I also wondered in what way the grammar that you applied back then to come to the logic you then shared on the internet has changed and evolved into more knowledge and more in alignment with truth as time went by.

As Max stated on his YouTube channel to his followers back then: “We need a calm investigation before we go and have a lynching as any case needs a trial before a possible lynching and we have a lot of questions to be answered.” Besides the implementations of such an outrageous statement, I wonder in which phase that investigation is now, two years later, and how many questions have been asked and answered.

The lynching that Max referred to happened anyway and is actually still going on even though the whole thing helped many people with their personal healing process which might be outside of your range of vision. As emotions calmed down over time, proper reasoning set in which made introspective self-reflection possible and many people concluded that things were not really dealt with in an objective and responsible way.

People who really did care about the truth regarding the whole issue put real effort to get in touch with Don/Zen. They tried to establish that contact not only during the period that he was in the line of fire after all hell broke loose and could not meet up with ridiculous self-righteous deadlines, but also AFTER the insane tsunami of attacks passed by. They came to a very different perception of the reality than people who did NOT put effort in trying to get in contact with him.

Yours and others’ rhetoric on the internet back then served as a trigger for a lot of stimulus-response driven clicktivists to react in ignorant and immoral ways that caused a lot of harm. This is the main reason for me to write to you as this will not magically go away by itself or by deleting things online. The way this was dealt with and why this was extremely harmful, irresponsible and wrong needs to be faced, deeply understood and lived through, if evolving consciousness is truly intended and desired.

Ignoring unpleasant truths is one of the causal factors of why we do not see any significant improvements in the collective human condition we co-create by the behavior we choose with our Free Will. Realizing truth, so that we can align our perceptions and our actions with it, is most effective through an apophatic process. So, in the Zen Gardner case it is much more effective and powerful to address the things you and others did NOT do. Namely establishing contact with Don/Zen in REALITY. All justifications for not having direct contact or not engaging in determined efforts to try to establish real contact when things calmed down still do not change the reality that there was no direct contact one bit.

Truth does not waver ever, only our perception does. And it is our moral obligation to align our perceptions with truth so that our gained wisdom can manifest itself as moral right action. Moral right action would be something like the publishing of an expression of a changed perception on the D/Z reality due to evolving consciousness as a result of ongoing filtering of truth from lies. Because of the total lack of such a statement or expression, can I conclude that your perceptions on the way you dealt with the D/Z situation are unchanged like a rigid 19 hijackers narrative?

Does the lack of any such public expression mean that you consider most things you did, and more important did not do, were in line with truth, or that you still think you had the right to perform your actions in the way you did back then, based on the perceptions you then had? Or that your actions did not cause any harm to other beings?

Or do you consider you were in the wrong in any way with your actions and/or lack of action due to revised perceptions? If so, it would be right to share this revised perception with all the people you shared your earlier rhetoric with.

If not, I urge you to read the assessment below by the late Dr. Paul Marko who shortly before his death felt the urge to serve the truth by giving his view as an expert on the subjects that surrounded the allegations levied against Don/Zen.

If a person who is considered to be a good, moral, loving, spiritual, creative, and inspirational brother overnight turns into an immoral, bad, hateful, evil and deceptive monster; can both of these opposite perceptions of reality be based in truth? No, it can’t because truth is unwavering, definite and objective. Our perceptions are not unwavering, and need to be aligned with truth as much as possible. That is our moral obligation towards the Universe.

Whether you like it or not, Don/Zen himself still is the embodiment of Truth regarding the whole issue, as he alone knows what did happen and what did not happen and how and why his consciousness perceived and manifested the realities at that time. He is the only true primary source in that respect. Excluding extensive study of primary source data and experience in the process of coming to conclusions leads not only to ignorance and confusion; it will lead to fallacious and feeble logic. Fallacious logic leads to harmful rhetoric/action because it is based in lies and deception. Primary source data and experience with the primary source of truth means direct contact with D/Z in this case. The time and energy spent in gathering, processing and assessing primary source data is directly proportional to the level of care to seek Truth.

Considered in that light; how much time and energy did you spend in trying to get in direct contact with Don/Zen in the years that went by to get more data that could lead you to evolve your consciousness…and thus more alignment of your revised perception of reality with truth? Back then the notion was brought up that soon evidence would pour to the surface and the truth will speak for itself. I did not see any evidence come up on sexual child abuse or any direct evidence of the kind against Don/Zen as of yet, but maybe due to your research and/or investigation as Max called for, you have gathered some. I am most interested in evidence-based information so please share.

The respective article you posted is deleted from your website. What does that mean? It does not stop the ongoing damage it caused. Is there not any change of logical reasoning as a result of weaving out more contradictions and inconsistencies? This fallacious processing of information again, as I referred to in my email from over 2 years ago, is the exact working principle of the mainstream media, used to mold the minds of the masses.

The extensive contact I had over the last 2 years with Don in which we spoke about his time in the COG and the whole aftermath it caused did not provide me with significant inconsistencies or contradictions in my reasoning from where I could change my perception of Don. On the contrary, I consider him still as one of the most genuine, compassionate, loving and honest human beings I ever met. The wisdom he applies to deal with this immoral, and unjust reality is remarkable, it confirms my perception of his being I had before all of this. I can only have deep respect for the way he uses his own traumatic experiences for self-work purposes to evolve his consciousness and be able to better serve humanity and the Universe itself.

But again, I am very interested in evidence based information that you gathered as a result of the articles you posted back then.

I myself, like most people, spent most of my life in cults. I served as a green beret in the Special forces in the military which is an ultimate cult of evil because it is entirely built on violence, abuse and trauma based mind control to engineer its members to engage in immoral and harmful behavior without being able to apply one’s own conscience. After that I was a member of another cult system for 21 years that willfully exposes its members to nerve gas components and other toxins which causes unimaginable harm and suffering. That cult is deeply involved in numerous other immoral activities and it took me more than 20 years to leave that cult and speak out against it. Most of its current members (about 10,000) know the reality but ignore it because they are driven by deep fear like in all other cults. That cult was a major airline company where I worked as a commercial airline pilot for 25 years.

A cult is a fear-based system of religious veneration and ego-devotion which espouses erroneous beliefs that are dangerous, especially to the lives, rights and freedoms of those who are NOT its members. What is your cult?

One of the most difficult, unpleasant, and important tasks for humanity to change the ever-deteriorating collective human condition is to become aware that our society in general is a fear-based cult system built on numerous sub-cults. Even more difficult but essential is our moral obligation to admit that we ourselves were duped and are part of a cult and that we were wrong. To dismiss a member of a notorious cult like the COG when speaking out, without even consulting in depth or even a second with him, is a clear indication of a deep lack of Self knowledge, Self respect, Self love and lack of wisdom. For me it was a confirmation of the absolute lack of spiritual responsibility and wisdom in so called awake communities. All the so called big shots in the “alternative truth cult” kicked their brother Zen Gardner and all associations with his work off the steaming square wheeled truth-train without having spoken one word with him. Another huge and precious chance for real change wasted all for the greater good of the “truth warrior” community that so much cares about its important responsibilities towards humanity. Well, most of humanity apparently.

But hey, who am I and what do I know? I do not have a brilliant way of speaking or writing. What I do know is the objective, definite difference between right & wrong behavior. Not because of my feelings, intuition, sense of resonance, or any other fluffy inter-dimensional expression of consciousness, but because of knowledge of the principles of the laws of morality. And the way you and others dealt with the Zen Gardner issue was wrong, immoral, spiritually childish and irresponsible.

I hope this will be dealt with, not for Zen, not for me, but for the Truth itself.

I wish you, and anyone who has read this, much wisdom in processing this information in order to come to a perception of reality that is more aligned with Truth.

With love,

Willem Felderhof

To read Paul Marko’s article, mentioned above see the full article here.

Willem Felderhof is a former commercial airline pilot and was a whistleblower on the presence of toxic elements in aviation generally known as “the Aerotoxic syndrome”.