I have thought it over very carefully and have decided to take the government’s advice and be really scared. “In fear” is, after all, the only way to live.
There is a one in a thousand chance that I might die with Covid whilst suffering from coincidental illness such as terminal cancer, diabetes or decapitation in a road accident. I am particularly at risk if I lick the face of anyone carrying Covid.
This is obviously too big a risk to take as it makes dying of Covid as likely as drowning in my bath or being decapitated by a low-flying gannet. And these are pretty scary odds.
So I have decided that I have no other choice this winter than to follow the instructions of those nice people in the government, vax industry, and MSN and other benign crime syndicates who are completely trustworthy and NEVER lie or bend the truth to suit any agenda whatsoever. I am therefore going to do the following:
1. Get injected with a Covid vaccine. I don’t mind which one as they all seem equally unsafe, so that is enough to put my mind at rest.
2. Get injected with a second shot so I am fully locked and loaded with whatever secret therapeutic agents such as graphene oxide are in the shots.
3. Get injected with the third booster when the first two shots fall a bit short of actually working, which of course is reassuringly normal and to be expected of a vaccine. The ridiculously over-optimistic notion that vaccines stop you catching or spreading a disease is a falsehood put about by the Enemies of Vaccines to create false hopes that they will work and thus causes people to be miffed with the vaccine industry and their salesmen in government when they don’t.
4. Then get injected with the fourth booster that will protect me when the first three shots unexpectedly yet reassuringly don’t work.
5. Get injected with any other boosters the aforementioned trustworthy, benign and almost saintly people make up as they go along, such is their devotion to my well being.
6. I am confident that all these chemical agents injected into my body will have no cumulative ill-effects whatsoever even though this has never been tested (or experienced) before. After all, the government and manufacturers do not seem at all worried and that’s good enough for me. Therefore, I will add the flu shot and any booster flu shots deemed mandatory (voluntary) to not protect me from flu.
If I do all these things, nothing could possibly go wrong with my immune system because it is a well known fact that the human body has evolved over millions of years into needing lots of pharmaceutical products to stay alive.
I can be absolutely sure that if I do the above, the last thing I am likely to die of is Covid19.
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