My Solitary Journey Through Fear: A Life-Changing Paradigm Shift — From Pandemic Believer to Uncovering the Truth
Aloneness – From One Extreme View of the Pandemic Journey to Another
Here I sit – tears streaming – nearly sobbing – I feel alone – but am I?
The aloneness began when I was mocked for wearing a mask in a small town long before anyone else was. “Here comes a masked bandit,” smirked a fellow customer over his shoulder to the clerk as I entered and he exited.
I have come full circle – from being very alone on one end of the spectrum of “covid” to where I sit today.
I’m typing this from my computer desk in what used to be the kitchen in the very home where my husband and his father both grew up. The home has been remodeled to fit our family’s lifestyle needs.
My farmer husband is skilled in many ways, so we did the majority of the work ourselves over many years. Most of his time is spent as a grain farmer. He’s very good at what he does. I’m the support crew. The sheep we kept to keep the creek area down were sold off nearly thirty years ago.
I’ve been blessed to be a stay-at-home wife and mom all of our nearly 35-year marriage. We homeschooled our children all the way through. They are now grown.
We now grandparent six really special kiddos ages two months to seven years of age. They are spread all over the country, but our century farm here in Iowa often draws them home.
How I believed in it all
In January 2020, I got a bad cold with laryngitis and connected with a private researcher I’d found in other groups regarding EMFs a few years before. She was all about taking ascorbic acid and melatonin for “covid” and all health issues actually. I followed her research carefully into the world of studying the pandemic from the side of virology and immunology. I listened to about four hours per week of the podcast “This Week in Virology” for about 10 months.
I read tons of studies and articles about how “covid” was working in our bodies and how bad it was from the “scientific” and “medical” perspective. At first I only understood about 5% of what they said in the podcast and the studies.
I felt driven. I knew, somehow, it was very important for me to learn. I felt out of my league. My degree is in education.
Over time I grew to enjoy this team of virologists and immunologists and could maybe understand about 50% of what they said.
I have chronic low white count and other chronic undiagnosed issues, likely due to lifestyle issues along with childhood trauma plus EMFs. I’ve worked long and hard on my health, but I was obviously concerned about what my body would do if it got “this illness”. I wore masks and stayed home LONG before anyone in my corner of a rural state.
As I studied, I kept getting videos from close friends and family to review that seemed to be in the conspiracy theory camp. My overall take at the time was that the virus is real, and there are really powerful people taking horrible advantage of the world during a pandemic, but I didn’t want to join that camp. Even the contemplation of their ideas freaked me out. Then I stopped getting the videos for a few months.
But in recent months I began to receive the same types of videos from more than one person over the course of a week and knew that it was the Lord saying ‘ok, you now have the bank of knowledge I wanted you to have so that you can understand and accept what you are about to learn’.
It began by learning of the inaccuracies and original purposes of the PCR tests as invented by Kary Mullis and adapted for use to “diagnose covid” by Christian Drosten (interviewed twice on the above mentioned podcast).
I knew all the vocabulary around the PCR due to the podcast so the new information was jaw-dropping. I then realized the numbers of cases and deaths specifically named “covid” made no sense; something was very wrong — something in which many unsuspecting, loving medical professionals had unwittingly played the devil’s pawn. And loved ones have been ill without in-person advocates and so many have died alone, but for the loving nurses and doctors who stood with them.
So NOW I’m LISTENING. I heard podcasts and interviews of Catherine Austin Fitts, Prof. Dolores Cahill, Dr. Tom Cowan, Dr. Andy Kaufman, Dr. Sam Bailey, Dr. Sherri Tenpenny, David Icke, Reiner Fuellmich, and others.
These are brilliant and courageous people who put the data together and asked the right questions, and were willing to share their take on the narrative. This was a pivotal time for me.
I’m not sure I would have listened or fully understood in spring 2020, but by December 2020 my paradigm had begun a huge shift.
I began to ask questions and to put pieces of my own health journey together with the current narrative. Due to my own EMF sensitivity and my study of that field for the past four or more years, I now believe that EMFs and 5G have to at least be weakening our bodies, making them more susceptible to a virus.
I stumbled upon the following information through a series of internet queries with my carrier:
I found out that the small towns near me now had 5G even though we do not yet have it in the country. These are towns of 1,800 and 400 population.
I asked WHEN my local towns got 5G capabilities. The answer was mid November 2020.
Next question was when did my carrier roll out 5G fully. The answer was mid November 2020.
They use a tech called DSS where 5G can ride the waves of 4G towers in parallel so the small frequent towers aren’t needed. I think this is a hybrid 4G/5G that will eventually be a full on 5G situation either by the small towers or by the satellites that will be launching (unless the Lord prevents that).
Meanwhile, Beverly Rubik and Robert Brown came out with their preprint indicating “covid” is at the very least exacerbated by EMFs. Confirmation.
Here is the kicker with that — If you scroll down on the statistics page for my state health department’s records of all positive “covid” cases you will see that “covid” never really showed up in my state with any significance until mid November 2020 when our entire area of the country blew up with “covid”. My guess is that many carriers also rolled out in different locations at the same time.
5G, in our part of the USA, was our “covid” surge! We experienced none of the post-holiday surges that they predicted but for a slight bump after New Years. I had also just read The Invisible Rainbow by Firstenberg. His parallels of health issues around the world down through history correlating with cosmic, electrical, radar and EMF roll outs are uncanny. More confirmation.
So, I put together the inaccurate PCR testing with 5G roll out, along with WHO lowering PCR threshold cycle numbers on January 20, 2021, reducing false positives by as much as 85% in some studies. Researchers reviewed test cycle threshold data and it all adds up to a very small pandemic – which is not a pandemic at all.
I saw overall average of all-cause death rates, and the absent flu stats, and I felt like a year of my life — our lives — had been manipulated — stolen — abused.
We’d been betrayed. Those who care for us and serve us in our communities had been betrayed. Much of our local and state leadership had been betrayed. Betrayal became the norm.
My studying has not stopped. More of Bailey and Cowan and Kaufman’s views along with finding Dr. Stefan Lanka’s work (an ex-virologist in Germany) and my whole view of what really makes us ill shifts yet again (see book called What Really Makes You Ill? by Dawn Lester and David Parker).
This I am currently sorting out. But I’m far enough along now to have set aside the long year of fear and entered back into the sanctuary with my fellow sisters and brothers for worship.
No discussions yet about why I’m now there — and maskless — but I am there! I’m sure there will be time to share in the days ahead. For now I will joy in the arms of a seven-year-old girl wrapped around my waist after the sermon was over. “I’ve missed you so much!”. And I’ve missed her too!
For context, our church went back indoors for worship in July 2020 after a season of online only worship followed by outdoor worship. Until the past month or so, my very supportive husband and I stood outdoors, in the cold of winter, and greeted folks as they entered our church — where masks were always optional — and then worshiped from our van on the radio alone in the parking lot. We then got out to say good-bye to all as they left so that we could remain connected with our church family — a very small rural church. We were sure I needed this kind of protection due to my health issues and this potential illness. It still feels very strange to think that I would have been fine – even at 60, with health issues, I would have been fine. But we just didn’t know.
My focus of late has been on the vaccine issue. I’m am extremely opposed due to the lack of safety with potential short and long term harm. I’m wondering whether there is even a need for it. And then there is the eerie worldwide push like what is happening in Israel, and how we are hearing of sporting events, and now colleges requiring the shots for entry here in the USA; and the new term coined “medical apartheid” strikes a greater fear than the word pandemic ever did.
More friends and family are getting the shots each week — they are so excited. Even those who weren’t going to and felt strongly have caved. They want to fly across the country to see their kids and grandkids and enter nursing homes to see parents, so who can blame them. I pray for their health.
But my aloneness continues and it now faces a brewing anger among those who believe the resisters or holdouts are a new and a worse danger.
I thank the Lord for the few local holdouts and my internet friends who lend support and join hands. We’ve even exchanged phone numbers and email addresses so as not to lose one another – our life preservers – across the oceans and the seas of this aloneness — turned connection.
Sharon welcomes your comments or questions. Her email address is:
Dr. Andrew Kaufman at Trafalgar Square, September 19, 2020: Global Enslavement Via a Fake-Virus-Pandemic Live Exercise | “We Must End This Now.” by Dr. Andrew Kaufman
[link to more by Dr. Andrew Kaufman]
Sharon James — along with her husband, children & visiting grandchildren — has lived and worked for nearly 35 years on a century farm in Iowa.
She is an avid researcher and life-long learner with a degree in education and strong interest in natural healing. Her now-adult children were all home schooled.
Sharon James is a contributing writer at Truth Comes to Light.